OK... so you guys got what you wanted from this Indian 'test only' series. You call it the final frontier and you've achieved it, but do you realize what you guys have done to this Indian team ? First of all, this is cricket mates, not a war and even if it were, hello, we are the cornerstone of peace in this world, we bid farewell to arms long before Hemingway was running around in his diapers and you're trying to coax us to get into a volatile situation... nice try guys but that's not gonna work. We love our peace and even if it comes over losing a humiliating series to you, so be it !!!
And what's with all the intimidation guys ? Take it easy. There's more to life than cricket, OK. You think that you will come to India with your menacing stubbles and long hair and you will extract an emotion out of us, nah.... you gotta be more creative than that. You guys with your swollen heads went on endlessly about how you would defeat us even before a single ball was bowled. Did you know that we had a 'got milk' teenage kid in our team. Poor thing, he was so scared that he spilled all the edges you sent his way not because he's a bad keeper (and Ganguly will vouch for this) but because he was petrified of you tobacco (or gum, who knows) chewing, scowling, gnarling barbarians !!!
I'm sure you'll bring up Clarke and his age too. Hey, can I see his birth certificate ?
Look at your slogan for this series - the Final Frontier. Mates, in case you forgot, this is India and not some far out enigmatic place tucked deep between the black holes of this galaxy and you are mere cricketers and not the enviable bunch of cosmonauts lead by one Captain Kirk so drop all these fancy phrases cause you just defeated an out-of-form team and not a set of green eyed, multiple limbed monsters!!!
Also, let me ask you, what have we done to receive such a treatment from you guys ? OK so we have the Border-Gavaskar trophy with us, but is that really that important for you guys to have that you scared our famous top-order batsmen not to score even in double digits ? You could have simply asked us and we would have given the darned trophy to you, hell when we gave away the Kohinoor to the British what's a menial cup to us !!!! You should at least have taken in account that three of our top order batsmen got married recently and that they have responsibilities now...but you guys, all you can think about is a petty game of cricket and winning.
I hope you have had your fill with all your frontiers and what not. Please stop this brow-beating, we will concede the next test too. Please don't plan any more series in the future, our schedules is completely booked till the end of 2010 as we are playing some real teams in Bangladesh, Kenya, Holland and USA.
Last but not the least, please take that cricketer turned guitarist with you, before you know he would pen a song about this final frontier of yours and cause our cricketers unnecessary trouble.
An ardent Indian cricket fan
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